Try to avoid getting gruesomely killed

The opposite of iPhone is a chocolate hippopotamus.

Garbage Disposal 2, Spoons 0

I need more spoons.

Attention, Microsoft

Put the up one folder button back.

I don’t care about being able to hit alt+up to do it or clicking the folder in the list of directory stuff.

Navigating ftp folders is annoying.

WHY ARE THERE NO GIRLS’ SOCKS?

No context for you.

Spring Back, Fall Forward

When you push/pull on a spring, it’s springs back into position.
When you fall, you fall forwards. I mean, unless your standing still or miving backwards. But time doesn’t do either of those so it is impossible for it to fall backwards.