How to Sound Cool While Saying Nothing (aka how be an idiot)

Say something that sounds like it might be really clever/cool/way out there/obvious.  Then say that it could also be something that is the exact opposite of this.

Then, either way, you’re probably right.  Unless you’re not.

Ohio Election Issues

Click to access Issues_08.pdf

Don’t be an idiot.  Read it.

BRIANS!!!

Zombies eat brains.

You should probably remove yours to prevent yourself from being attacked by zombies.

Time Travel Detector Ad on the Radio?

There was an ad on the radio tonight that mentioned something about including a “temporal scanner”.  I’m pretty sure that a temporal scanner would be something you would measure time or maybe time changes with.  Something you would see on a show like Star Trek in an episode dealing with time travel.

Example:
“Ensign Ricky, what does the temporal scanner say?”
“The year… IT’S OVER NINE THOUSAND!!! AD. Sir.”
And then Ensign Ricky gets eaten by evil future mini-robots from the future.
And then they reverse the polarity while maintaining a hyperbolic geosynchronous orbit (otherwise there would be a cascading failure loop) and everything is back to normal. Except Ensign Ricky is dead. But it’s ok because he’ll probably get a role as a victim in an episode of Law & Order or show up in other time-travel/alternate reality episodes.

That or it’s some kind of a thermometer. But “temporal scanner” sounds cooler, so they use that instead.

This burrito is/was good.

I Need A Protractor to Attack Someone

I had a broken protractor/half-ruler in my bookbag for a few years.  It was kind of pointy on the part where it was broken.  The end.

Some people that write on blogs are really stupid.  For example, the person who had a certain opinion because of something they had read something on snopes.com.  Snopes had stated what the person read was false.  This person apparently didn’t actually read the article on snopes, only a quoted myth.

On an unrelated note, I still eat porkchops and also use margarine.

Rejected costume idea #3

Geogre.

Like, an ogre that is a G.

Using String::Similarity on Windows

String::Similarity is an awesome Perl module that can be used to compare strings and such. Really useful for matching things when there is a typo or some slight formatting differences (ex. &039; instead of ‘).

Unfortunately, currently it fails to build on Windows systems that use Visual C++.
(How to build many CPAN modules on Windows for free.)

It turns out the WinNT.h, included in VC++, defines the CHAR variable type. Most C compilers/whatever-the-term-is don’t do this. So when the C code in String::Similarity tries to define CHAR as a UV, VC++ compiler returns an error because CHAR is being redefined.

It turns out this problem has been known about for a while. The developer decided to take the “blame Microsoft and their non-compliant ways” approach. I can respect that.

All that is needed is to replace all references to CHAR in the code to something else which is not already defined by the compiler. Then it should compile fine in VC++. And any other compiler, probably.

I would make the changes myself and upload it to cpan/ppm/whatever, but don’t know how (yet). Also not sure if I can because it’s almost entirely someone else’s code.

Edit:
Made a PPM repository.
Learned how to make a ppd and stuff.
So overall, learned a lot.

Question: What Type of Bear is Best…

in bed?
Bad idea: beet-flavored bear-fact cookies.

Failed Halloween costume idea #2: Anti-George. What color is the opposite of gray?

These are not the queries you are looking for

SELECT * FROM sys.objects
SELECT * FROM sys.tables

Move along.

They need to sell single large boxes

You have to buy them in stacks of 5.  This sucks.  Now I’m going to have to come up with a different stupid Halloween thing.